


heartbeat [is all you leave behind]

by onefootonego (startingXI)



Series: [once upon] a different life [3]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 19:18:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16793137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/startingXI/pseuds/onefootonego
Summary: kara sets her backpack down at the bottom of the porch and walks far slower than maggie expects her too. she moves up the stairs slowly, hesitantly even. she drags her hand along the wooden railing, pausing at the screen door and looking over her shoulder. maggie can see the nerves in her eyes and across her shoulders.





	heartbeat [is all you leave behind]

**Author's Note:**

> aka - **three [maggie 15 – kara 13] [september]**

it’s past midnight when there’s a knock on maggie’s bedroom door. it’s the room that once belonged to her cousin and her cousin still fills the space with old posters of boy bands and high school photos taped to the walls. maggie doesn’t dare touch them. it’s not that olivia would mind, rather maggie doesn’t have anything to fill their voids with. not to mention, well, the eight by eleven photo of olivia kissing one of her first girlfriends on the cheek. both of their eyes alight. it gives maggie a sense of hope, knowing that sort of future exists. 

her attention is dragged back to the door, a knock that tells her at once it’s kara. maggie can picture kara standing in the darkened hallway, shifting nervously on her feet. maya is still awake, or maybe she’s asleep in her chair downstairs. either way maggie slips out of bed and pads across the hardwood floor, pulling open her bedroom door as quietly as she can. 

“hey,” she says softly, warmly “you don’t have to knock you know.” 

kara doesn’t say anything. 

it’s not unusual and maggie knows this. in the months since kara’s arrival there have been days of her silence. this most recent bout is new, fresh, less than a day old. when kara falls into her silences, maya and maggie have learned not the press her. they have learned to ask yes or no questions, they have learned that silence is not a bad thing. tonight however, maggie suspects the silence was born from something. some kara is holding in her hand as she walks into maggies moonlit room. 

“who is,” kara starts, “who is superman?” she punctuates the sentence by holding the sheaf of newspaper up for maggie to see. 

it’s a copy of the lincoln journal star. it’s a few days old but that’s not what matters. what catches maggie’s attention is the photo of superman emblazoned across the front page. he’s mid-flight, all power and justice and whatever else he says he stands for. maggie looks up from the picture and studies kara. her hand is shaking, the other playing with her necklace, a nervous tick. kara’s eyes are wide and wild.

maggie takes a deep breath and says “he’s a hero. a superhero.” 

kara blinks once, twice, she nods “okay.” she says “okay.” 

somehow maggie gets the feeling that this is not, in fact, okay. yet she gives kara time. in the seven short months since kara’s landing, maggie has learned that sometimes kara does respond best to questioning. maggie has learned that sometimes kara needs the space to work out the thoughts in her head, that all her words get tangled together when she’s flustered or upset. so maggie waits, but as she waits she moves back across the room to her bed, patting the space next to her. it’s a small gesture, a nearly silent one that tells kara when she’s ready, if she’s ready, she is welcome to sit. 

for the moment kara stays still. her gaze is fixed on the newspaper in the hand, on the photo of superman. when she speaks next, she isn’t look at maggie. her voice is distant, like she’s lightyears away. 

“i-“ she starts, sitting down on the floor slowly. maggie watches kara sit, watches kara fold her knees close to her chest and wrap her arms around her shins. she watches kara take a shaking breath, pressing her chin against her kneecaps and continue speaking “i wasn’t the only one sent from my planet.” she says softly, her words drifting into the room, filling the space “a cousin of mine, kal, he was sent away in the pod before mine. he was a baby. i was sent to earth, sent to look after him. but i – i got stuck, stuck in space. and he, i –“ kara breaks, shaking her head “i didn’t know what happened to him. i assumed he got stuck as well. i never thought, i didn’t think he would have landed.” kara trails off, tears bright in her eyes. 

it takes maggie a moment to piece together what kara isn’t quite saying. 

“so,” she starts “you think, do you think superman is…is your cousin?” 

kara, still clutching the newspaper against her calf nods in broken movements “maybe?” she says, looking over at maggie for the first time since walking into the room “i mean he – you said he’s a hero. he can fly and he, i googled him and he can do other stuff too. stuff that i can do.” 

there’s a long pause and then kara, very nearly breathless asks 

“what if he is my cousin?” 

maggie doesn’t know what to say, she doesn’t know how to answer that question. yet kara is looking at her with such desperation mixed with hope that maggie finds herself saying quietly “we can write to him.” 

kara blinks “write to him?” 

not that maggie knows where they would even send the letter but, 

well, 

“sure.” she says “explain the situation. explain that, that maybe you’re related to him.” 

kara hesitates, then shakes her head “what if he doesn’t know he has a cousin? what if he doesn’t reply?” 

“one step at a time.” maggie encourages “let’s write to him first. let’s see what happens.” 

“i don’t even know what to say.” kara says quietly, pulling her knees closer to her chest “how do i even explain?” 

“we’ll figure it out.” maggie says, trying to stifle a yawn “okay?” 

“you’re tired.” kara says “i should –“ 

“you should stay.” maggie says “you should stay while i go get some paper from the printer.” 

kara nods, unfurling herself and spreading the newspaper across the floor. she traces superman’s outline with a finger, fixating on the symbol emblazoned across his chest. maggie stands slowly, she moves across the floor and pads downstairs, into the living room where maya’s computer is. 

she was hoping to go unnoticed by her aunt, but instead maya emerges from the kitchen with a mug in one hand “you’re up late.” she comments. 

maggie pauses “kara woke me up.” she says honestly, gently “we’re going to write a letter.” 

“at this hour?” 

“she thinks,” maggie takes a breath “she thinks there’s a chance that superman is her cousin.” 

“her cousin?” maya asks “she’s never mentioned a cousin before.” 

“she thought he was stuck in space like she was. she didn’t consider that he had survived, come to earth when he was supposed to.” maggie explains “so i’m going to help her write a letter to him, explaining.” 

“tonight?” maya asks “it is a school night.” 

“i think this is important to her.” maggie says “she, i think it’s why she’s been quiet tonight. if that’s okay?” 

maya takes a sip from her mug as she nods “don’t miss the bus in the morning.” 

“we won’t.” maggie says, taking a sheaf of papers from the printer and heading back towards the stairs “thank you.” she says “for understanding.” 

maya sits back down in her chair, baxter looking up from his spot curled on the rug “we can’t imagine what she’s going through.”

maggie lets out a soft exhale “i think i can.” she says, swallowing hard.

“oh mija.” maya breathes. 

“it’s okay.” maggie says “it’s okay. i’m okay.” 

she’s not okay. not at all, but right now maggie wants nothing more than to not think about her own pain and instead think about how she can help kara write a letter to a superhero. 

*

it takes three weeks for a response to arrive. 

the response comes in the form of maya meeting kara and maggie at the end of the road as they get off the bus. her hands are shaking and she’s carrying a sort of tension across her shoulders that maggie has never seen before. so unfamiliar is it that maggie is half stepping in front of kara as the bus rolls away and asking 

“what’s happened?” 

maya shepherds them towards the house, saying quickly “nothing bad. it’s just,” she takes a breath “well, we have a visitor.” 

“a visitor?” kara asks and maggie wonders what she hears, what she can pick up on this distance from the house. 

“a visitor.” maya confirms. 

“who?” maggie asks, apprehensive. 

“superman.” kara breathes, moving forward, moving ahead of them both before maya catches her shoulder. 

“mija,” maya says “mija slow down.” 

kara shakes her head, but she doesn’t break away “it is superman, isn’t it?” 

maya nods “it is.” 

maggie chokes “he’s here?” 

“he is.” maya confirms. 

maggie isn’t sure she expected this when they sent that letter weeks ago. 

they hadn’t even given it an address. maggie had just written **superman** on the envelope and hoped for the best. 

simple, yet seemingly effective. 

they’re approaching the house and maya turns to maggie “we should wait outside.” 

“but-“ maggie starts. 

“they need space.” maya says “to talk.” 

maggie thinks that’s a stupid idea, so she looks over at kara “do you want one of us to come with you?” 

kara swallows hard and says softly “could you, could you maybe wait outside?” 

maggie feels disappointed, but she swallows it down and nods “we can.” she says, determined to sit on the porch and distract herself with brushing baxter. 

kara sets her backpack down at the bottom of the porch and walks far slower than maggie expects her too. she moves up the stairs slowly, hesitantly even. she drags her hand along the wooden railing, pausing at the screen door and looking over her shoulder. maggie can see the nerves in her eyes and across her shoulders. 

kara pulls the door open and she can hear the pounding of supermans heart. she wonders if he’s just as nervous as she is. she wonders so many things, but every question fades from her mind as she walks into the living room and lays her eyes on the man she thinks could be her cousin. 

“kal?” she says quietly, the single word barely a breath.

the man sitting before her is built, broad shouldered with a look of curiosity on his face. he stands and he seems to fill the room – a far cry from the infant she remembered being shuttled away from a dying planet. 

he cocks his head and looks at her “how-“ he says “how did you know?” 

kara takes a deep breath, her eyes drifting to the crest across his chest “we,” she starts “our families shared that crest.” 

“our families?” confusion flickers across his face. 

kara’s mouth is dry and she finds her hands are shaking “i – i’m your cousin. i think i am. i’m from krypton too. like you are.” 

the man standing before her says nothing for a moment and kara feels like being sick. 

“i’m from kansas.” he says and kara’s heart breaks a little bit. 

“before that.” she says “where you born. it was a place called krypton and i, before it exploded-“ the memories of that moment ignite in kara’s mind and her stomach twists more violently “you and i were sent away.” 

“i didn’t think anyone survived.” 

“no one did.” kara says “no one but us.” 

“how – how do you know?” 

kara swallows hard “i watched it explode.” 

the man shakes his head “i don’t understand. i landed years ago. how –“ 

“there’s a place,” kara says, hands twisting in front of her “a place called the phantom zone. time, time is funny there. it slows. i got caught. but you didn’t. i don’t think you did anyway.” 

“so you’re my cousin.” he says, but it’s nearly a question. 

“i am.” kara says. 

he runs a hand through his hair “wow.” he breathes “okay.” 

“on krypton, your name was kal-el.” 

“here they call me clark.” 

“clark.” kara repeats, letting the name roll over her tongue “that’s a good name.” 

“it’s the name my parents gave me.” 

kara flinches at the mention of his parents, at the mention of different home and a different life. 

“i’m sure they’re good people.” kara says nervously “maya and maggie are good people too.” 

“it sounds like it.” clark says “i spoke with, with the older woman.” 

“maya.” kara says. 

“it sounds like she’s taking good care of you.” 

“she is. she does.” kara says “but you, we’re family. i was sent here to look after you and i know you’re older, but i could tell you about krypton, i could tell you about where you could have grown up. there’s so much, so much of our culture i can tell you about.” she feels excitement bubbling inside of her, swirling through her veins. 

she talks so much about krypton with maggie, but the prospect of teaching kal-el, of hearing him speak the language he was born – 

“i’ve learned a lot already.” clark says “i have resources there.” 

“oh.” kara feels her stomach drop “oh. that’s good. that’s cool.” she takes a breath and lets the words of her native tongue flow from her _”i thought i had lost you.”_ she says, voice full of emotion _”i thought i had lost you to the stars, like everyone else. but now you’re here.”_

clark blinks at her, “i’m sorry,” he apologises, in english “i’m not the most fluent, i don’t-“ he stumbles over his words. 

“oh.” kara says again, taking a step back “oh. i was just, i was saying that,” she swallows hard “i thought i lost you. i thought you were stuck in the phantom zone. but now, you’re here. and i’m here. we can be together. we can be a family.” 

clark’s eyes go wide “is that,” he starts, sits down, not bothering to finish his sentence “i can’t take you in.” he says “it won’t be safe for you.” 

“i have the same powers you do.” kara says “i can learn to protect myself. you can teach me.” 

clark shakes his head “i can’t take you in.” he says “i live in a one-bedroom apartment. i barely make rent consistently every month.” 

kara feels like she’s going to be sick. 

he doesn’t want her. 

“i would take you, if i could.” he says “but it’s not practical.” 

“not, not practical?” she echoes “i don’t understand.” 

“it won’t be safe for you.” he says “i won’t be able to look after you, not like you need, not like you deserve.” 

“we’re family.” kara says “we’re all we have left of our planet. we should be sticking together. we-“ 

“i don’t remember krypton.” clark says “i’m sorry, but i don’t have any memories. not like you do. and being out here, in the countryside, it’s the best thing for you. for learning how to control your powers.” 

kara shakes her head “aren’t you curious at all?” she asks “curious about where you’re from?” 

“i’m from kansas.” clark says “that’s where i was raised.” 

“so you’re leaving me here.” kara says softly. 

“it’s the best way.” clark says, standing up, taking a step towards her but kara takes a step back “i’m sorry.” 

“you’re not.” kara says, gaze drifting to the crest on his chest “do you know what that symbol means?” 

“it’s our family crest.” 

“but what does it mean?” kara presses. 

“the house of el.” clark says “our people.” 

“no.” kara bites. “no. it’s el mayarah. it means stronger together. that’s what our families believed.” 

silence reigns. 

kara’s hands are clenched into fists and feels tears brimming in her eyes. 

clark stands “i have to go.” he says “and it’s, it’ll be safer for you if you don’t reach out to me.” 

kara takes a wavering breath “fine.”

things were not fine, but she was powerless. she watched her cousin leave through the front door. she heard the murmur of words exchanged between him and maya. she hears maggie running up the porch steps, and kara hears the snap of the screen door. she hears maggie’s soft question curl around her, 

“what did he say?” 

kara takes a deep, shuddering breath and shakes her head “nothing. he’s not my cousin.” she decides “i was mistaken.”

**Author's Note:**

> i will admit i have far more planned for this universe. however yesterday i received some devastatingly bad news and i'll be honest - my inspiration to write is gone. so for now i leave you with the third instalment in this 'verse with the tentative promise to return at some point in a hopefully near future. 
> 
> thank you to everyone who has commented and kudo'd so far. y'all are the best.


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